Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin

Worth the Wait! God went above and beyond my expectations! Been married 5 years and it has been amazing!
Worth the Wait! God went above and beyond my expectations! Been married 5 years and it has been amazing!

About Me (Nikea Marie)

I was a virgin when I got married, but the process seemed like forever. I tell my testimony all the time, but I decided to blog about my journey to help others. I have been married now for 5 years and God has blessed our union in a major way. Before I got married, I had a journal of all my feelings during the process. So take this journey with me as I share with you inserts of my life. Every week I will post a new journal experience. So here it is!

“The Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin”

Day 1

Dear God,

Hey it’s me again!! I am just checking in. Yep, just making sure you haven’t forgotten about little ol me. You know the faithful saved one!

Well, let me catch you up! I have been paying my tithes, and my offering, and guess what? I even gave more as a seed for my husband. Yep, Pastor said sow into what you are believing for and I did. I don’t know if you noticed or not, but I gave an extra $5 last Sunday in the bucket. I know that should count for something.

In other news, I am sure you know I have been asked to be in another wedding. Yes, once again, another person who did not wait to have sex is getting married, and I get the joy of standing right beside her, with the fake big smile on my face asking and wondering…. Am I getting PUNK’D? Has this become my life? God, why are all the girls out here letting loose getting married before me? Am I doing something wrong?

I know deep down inside she is probably getting a kick out of the fact that it’s her and not me. She was the same one who told me “Girl ain’t no man gonna wait for you these days, you gotta give them something to look forward to.” God was she right? Ughhhhhh, I am just so irritated because all you keep saying is Trust me! Hello!! I am doing my part God, I am just asking that you do yours.

You know I love you, and I know you love me, but if you could just put a little pep in your step I would appreciate it.


-A Mad Black Virgin (#MBV)

Is this any of you? Trust me I understand, but one thing God said to me was “Everybody wants the prize, but nobody wants to go through the process”.

You know my hairdresser uses bleach when she wants to get my hair color to a real nice blonde, and it has to sit on my head for a long time. She will keep checking on it, and keep checking on it, but it seems like forever before it gets to that exact color I want it to be. I keep asking her, girl is it done yet? She says, no girl a little longer, I know what I am doing trust me! So finally when she looks at it, and she sees that it’s becoming what I have requested, she then says now it’s ready! Once we wash that bad boy out, I be like, yes honey you did that! She always says aren’t you glad you waited and trusted me? That is how God is with us. He knows exactly what He is doing, and He knows what you desire. You have not been forgotten, you are just processing. #trusttheprocess

Scripture of the Week:

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says:

For everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Weekly Confession:

God, I know that you are able to do exceedingly and abundantly above more that I can ask or think. God I trust your timing, and I know you got me! I put my life in your hands, and God I trust you with it.

Be Encouraged loves!!

Check Me Out on Social Media

Facebook: Nikea Marie

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26 thoughts on “Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin

  1. Wow, this was really good. I look forward to reading your journey. I know for me that sex is not an option before marriage, however it does seem that compromising gets you to the alter a lot faster. I remember way to many times having a similar conversation with God. Not to mention the conversation with friends and family who believe it’s naive for me to wait (men don’t wait at my age). So tired of hearing that.
    I have always thought your story an inspiring one and your music amazingly anointed because of your willingness to do life God’s way.
    We are in the world, not of the world, right?


    1. yes maam yes! I have had so many nights of are you just trying to keep me to yourself Jesus lol. Like for real..it is going to get even more real with my journal. I just want you to know that God def has the absolute best and it is so true that good things come to those who wait! He is going to blow your socks off girl. I believe with you and I am excited to see the end result! love you!


      1. What inspired you to stay a virgin until marriage and what kept you faithful on that journey? Also what advice can you give to a mother raising three little girls to stay virgins until their married in this day and time? My husband and I wasn’t virgins when we married even though now we wish we would have been, however we truly desire our girls to be. My girls are only six, 18 months and 3 months, I know I have a ways to go but I really want God’s perfect will for my little ladies.
        Thanks for sharing your journey with the world, I really enjoyed reading it!


      2. Hello,
        I appreciate your comment and your questions. Let me say my parents were pastors and they were far from virgins lol but they told my sister and I that the curse stopped with them. No longer will they accept because mama and daddy didn’t do it the right way, that we would not do it right either. My mom trained us up in the way we should go, and we didn’t depart from it. My sister and I are 13 years apart and she was a virgin when she got married. I looked up to her and saw how God blessed her and her husband, and for me I would say I wanna be like my big sister. Growing up, my dad always told me how much I was worth and that I was valuable. He always told me a man who won’t wait for you sexually is not worth you at all. Any man that respects your body, will respect you. I also saw a lot of friends who got pregnant and had to drop out of school, or just was depressed once the boy dumped them after they slept with them, and that also was a sign for me to wait. I knew that God said sex was created for 1 man and 1 woman. I wanted to honor Him with my body because He honored me with His. He sacrificed His body for me, so I had no problem doing the same. My thought also was I am not going to be a virgin for myself, but for all the young ladies and men who think its not possible. My life was not my own. I stood for my nieces and nephew who are now 19, 17, and 15 and they desire to wait also. Just like my sister was my example. I desire to stand for the ones who said I want to but ain’t nobody else doing it. I always knew I was different as far as in the eyes of others, but I developed a relationship with God and truly desired to serve Him with my whole heart. I will encourage you to just seek God on how to raise your girls. Pray over them even at this age that God would protect them and guard their hearts. The Lord will show you how to raise them and trust Him with them. I am praying for you and if they need to see some Godly women who did it right they can holla at me lol. Bless You

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed your post. This is something I’ve been struggling with for the past two years. One minute I’m content, the next I’m worrying, people around me keep getting married. I felt guilty for desiring a godly marriage. Simply put I was confused. Is it ok for me to feel this way? I knew for sure that no matter how I felt I wasn’t and I’m not going to go out and find a husband on my own. God has been showing me through posts, scriptures and other things to hold tight and trust Him. It got to the point where I would pray a bold prayer and would feel so good afterwards and then here comes doubt and worry creeping in.


    1. First it is so normal to feel how you feel. It’s always that inner thought of maybe it won’t happen for me or maybe this is for the birds or maybe I am forgotten. What I will say is that God began to show me my prayers were so centered around a husband that it was becoming my god. He was like I heard that prayer now let me work on you before you damage this man you want oh so bad. God’s timing is perfect and the enemy will definitely play with your emotions to make you feel crazy especially right after God said Trust me. Trust the process. God’s working on him also and he wants to present you both at the right time. While you wait live. Girl hang out with your home girls and begin to rejoice for those who are getting married because it just means it’s gonna be your turn sooner than later. You confess God whatever your will is God I’m good with it and I trust you and just release it. Don’t keep dwelling on it just let it go and know that He got you. Be encouraged


      1. For the past few months I’m no longer a homebody. I’ve had something to do pretty much every weekend since February. I needed to be a homebody for a bit because at one point in time I couldn’t stand to be home. I always had to go somewhere etc. Now I’m involved in more ministries at my church working with the youth and outreach ministries feeding the homeless etc. I don’t have many friends around my age here that are like minded. The one I did have got married a month ago. I do however have friends that God has placed in m life that live far away from me but we communicate on a regular basis. With being busy and helping care for my mom who has nerve pain I’ve had to learn how to juggle time and also take time out for myself. So I know this is preparation for whatever is coming next. I pray for my Future husband and his family but it’s not like Lord send Him now it’s Lord encourage Him, strengthen him, help him stay focused on you. I’ve been lead to intercede on others behalf since the beginning of the year I will continue to do that. I’ve got family, friends and people in my community and across the world that are need of God. Thanks for your encouraging posts! I will continue to follow this post!


      2. Thank you honey and I am praying and believing with you. Youre not alone girl and I appreciate your words. I admire your stand and I am so proud of you!! #YOUGOGIRL I am working on a conference in August out here in VA Called Pretty Girls Wait. I will keep you posted love! I have a CD entitled Purpose and Mission and I have a song about Waiting its called I love you too much! Check it out and tell me what ya think! God bless you


  3. Love it! God is faithful & He knows the right time to give to us everything that He promises. Your journey as a MBV will encourage & inspire many. Thanks for sharing


  4. Your story is such an inspiration for others that is struggling with waiting. You put your trust in the Father not man. If many of us didn’t succumb to pressure of the desires of another. I know because I did, not because I wanted to, because of what they wanted. I wanted to wait until marriage. You never feel the same after making a choice of giving up something that is sacred. You are going to be the voice of reason for others. I would have loved to have this in my ear, it would have made a difference for me. You are a blessing for others! Remain blessed!


  5. Well God bless you! I am not a virgin. It seems that I am being punished for not waiting until marriage and rightfully so. Sometimes I feel like maybe I should have waited, maybe I wouldn’t go through this. Idk if this blog really speaks to me BC you waited. What about us women who didn’t wait but is currently waiting again. I will say your blog is encouraging and it will help many women who have decided to wait but as for me, I honestly feel all hope is lost. Maybe I’ve missed the mark.


    1. honey you are not being punished because you did not wait. We all have our process to go through. You may have made a mistake but you arent one. Gods desire for you is to not beat you up over and over again because of your mistake. If you messed up get up and say from this day forward I will make better decisions. You just keep encouraging yourself and know there is still greatness for you also. Sometimes we feel like because we have fallen we deserve to have someone who may not treat you well and that is so not true. The Lord says when you repent (that means turn away from completely) of your sins and ask God to forgive you then He will. You have to know for yourself that you are forgiven and that you too can wait from this point forward. God will cover you girl! You are amazing just know that and know that we all fall short but the goal is to not stay there. You have not missed the mark, thats what the enemy wants you to believe. All hope is lost for the devil because you made a decision to wait now, so I am sure he aint too happy about that, but girl all hope is not lost for you. You have so much in you! You can dust yourself off and say I have another chance thank you Jesus. He got you! Trust Him just like I had to! You still win!


  6. Nikea…You are the bomb.com!!!! I will be passing your blog info on to who I know will benefit… And not just young women either!!!! I love you and I’m so inspired and proud of you!!!!! #UNSTOPPABLE….(did I spell that right…LOL)


  7. I’m not a virgin, my daughter will be 10. I have been celibate for 2 years after years of bad relationships after my divorce, I decided to wait for God’s best. Just by reading the first entry of the blog it’s encouraging for women at any stage.


    1. thank you so much and yes no matter what stage, God has not forgotten about you. You just keep going girl and keep being the best mom to your daughter! She has an amazing mom to look up to! Bless you and thanks for the love!


  8. This is awesome! You’re a JEWEL to the Body of Christ. Do continue to keep it real and don’t compromise the righteousness of our God!!!



  9. Oh wow…I just found this blog from your website. You were at the NAAMC on June 25-27th. Your voice is so beautiful. This is my constant struggle now. I am a virgin and I am getting older 34+ years. I am getting very discouraged and recently I became angry with God. Since then, I repented and I am slowly trying to understand this “process of waiting.” I feel that God is overlooking me for some reason. Yet, here I am…perusing your blog and it is the little reminders that God shows me that there are other women waiting too. I just read the first post and I will be reading the rest. I sooo needed this as I try to depend and trust God being an “older” single. Thank you Nikea and I thank God for using you!!


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