The Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin “Just A Little Impatient”

Dear God,

Well you said in your word, Faith without works is dead, right? So let me put action to my faith. I was staying with my sister, and called her downstairs, and I said look girl, I know this man is my husband, and we need to have a cook out here at your house, and invite his family after church one Sunday. What do you think about this? God, her being my ride or die type of sister said, let’s make it happen! Now, God, I don’t know if she was ready for me to get out her house, and be married, or if she genuinely wanted to have this cook out so that it would create an opportunity for him and I to see each other again. Now, the biggest problem is trying to figure out how we are going to tell our mother about this fake cook out LOL. Well, God, my sister being the awesome person she is told mom about the cook out, and told her that she should invite the church members along with their families. God, I am in the back thinking mom is not going to fall for this, she is gonna ask 100 questions, and then be like oh you just want Ryan to come over,but God, mom said that is a great idea! I knew you was moving already for her to say that!

So mom calls his family, and tells them about the cook out, and they said they may come. Now Jesus, I love his parents, but this cook out will not go well, if the one we planned it for doesn’t come.  Not knowing if he will come or not, we call all my family and friends, and tell them to come meet my future husband at our cook out. My sister paid for all this food, and she had games, and here I am doing the most still not knowing if he is going to come. God, what am I doing? What if he doesn’t show up? Ugh I would be embarrassed yet again! It’s the Saturday before the cook out, and I am just completely feeling foolish! Ugh, God, please oh please let this plan work! So God, here I am again; I come to you, and I am praying that you would speak to his spirit, yell at him, scream in his throat God, tell him he needs to be at this cook out! Tell him his favor is right in his face! Show him I am his good thang! God, I pray that this will all work together for my good! In Jesus name I pray, oh open his blind eyes like you did blind Bartimaeus in the Bible, ok I am done now, In Jesus name! Amen


While I am planning this cook out, guess what my husband to be was doing? Thinking about me! God was already speaking to him about me, and he had planned to come to church that Sunday we planned the cook out any way. He had decided to give God his heart completely months before we met again, and he didn’t know why he kept thinking of me. He felt like maybe the enemy was trying to use me as a distraction. He told God that he wanted to be focused on Him, but he was so focused, that he was about to miss the best thing that ever happened to him! God was already dealing with him about me, and maybe God didn’t need my help, but sometimes I felt like God can’t do everything on His own, and He may need my help with just a few minor details.

I know that we can all be impatient sometimes, and that was me. I waited long enough for him to come into my life, now you want me to wait for him to realize I am the one, oh Lord Jesus are you for real?

James 1:4- But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire wanting nothing.

Let me tell you, patience was getting on my last nerves. Seriously patience? Can you hurry up? For real patience, what is the hold up? Patience, you need to have several seats! But guess what patience did for me? She challenged me! Patience brought things out of me that I didn’t know was in me!

Colossians 1:11-May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance, and patience with joy.

Let me say this, we can work harder than we need to for something patience already prepared for us in the first place. We spent all this money on a fake cook out, to do something patience had already done. So, let me leave you with this, chill and let patience do her job.

Dear God,

Please help me to trust you and your timing. I tend to get impatient, and I tend to take matters into my own hands. God, I know this is a weakness of mine. I am so sorry! Holy Spirit, please transform this part of me. Help me to trust that your timing is best! In Jesus name Amen!

Me and Patience are besties! She gave the greatest gift ever, my hubby!


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4 thoughts on “The Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin “Just A Little Impatient”

  1. Thank you, thank you! I needed this faithful reminder! Sometimes I get so impatient with the plans that God has for me! Honestly I really need to follow His WILL and time for the plans that He has for me! Everything from career, car and relationships will come in due time!


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