Diary Of Mad Black Virgin “The Cook Out”

God, can I offer you some water, some juice? I feel like I am so rude at times. I just want to serve you because, man oh man, you are just awesome!

So, this morning I go to church, and this is the day of our fake cook out that I planned, and I am praying HE would come after church. I am sitting in church trying not to allow myself to think too much because all my friends and even some haters were coming over to the cook out, and how cool would it be for them to meet this man I felt was my husband. God, have I completely lost my mind? No I haven’t because I am walking by faith, or at least I feel like I am. So, God, I walked up to the mic to sing for praise and worship, and I looked up, and there he was!!! Sitting in the 3rd row in the middle! God, he came! He came! He came! Wow, I had that same feeling I had when he first walked in the church a few weeks back. My Spirit man was jumping yet again, and telling me to chill! Stop tripping girl, we got you, relax, and just be you.

Well, after church, he comes up to me, and says, hey how are you? Pause**I am good now that I see you? No, no, no, no, I am not going to say that. I am fine, just like you? No, no, no! I am blessed and highly favored? No too spiritual! Play** I am doing great, just been busy trying to get everything prepared for today. He says, oh whats going on today? Pause** Oh God, he doesn’t know about the cook out? Lord, I am so blown right now, but wait he came and didn’t know about the cook out? Hmmmmmm, maybe he is interested in me, but I am not going to toot my horn, but toot toot, who wouldn’t want me? I am a great catch! Play** Oh, we are having a cook out at my sisters house, and the church is invited to come. Now mind you God, we only had a few members at the time. I pray he doesn’t catch on to this crazy plan of mine. He says, oh that is what’s up! Well I will definitely try to make it!

PAUSE** Try to make it? No, No, No brother, you can’t try and make it, I need you to come. I have too much riding on the line here sir! Play** Oh, well why don’t I give you my number, so you can call me, if you decide to come, and I can give you directions to her house. Pause**Oh no, did I just make the first move on the low? Oh my goodness God, I pray he doesn’t look at me crazy. Play**Ok here is my number he said, I will text you! OK, well hopefully I will see you later I said! He said yes hopefully you will, and walks away.

As I am putting his phone number in my phone, God, I see all these text messages coming through. Girl my man just got me some flowers! Too bad you don’t know about that! LOL you keep waiting girl ok! See you at the cook out!  My bestie text says, Oh my goodness I can’t wait to meet him! Does he have friends? What am I going to say  if he doesn’t show up? People have already told me I wouldn’t get a good man because I am a virgin God! If I did get a man, he wouldn’t be cute because ain’t no cute man gonna wait on me. Yeah all of them are supposed to be at this cook out. What if they are right? Why don’t I have a man like Stacy? She always getting flowers and chocolate, it may be from different men all the time, but at least she getting some flowers and candy! I don’t want to keep spending Valentine’s Day with my bestie! Oh my goodness, God, please let this man come to the cook out!

I pull up to my sister’s house, and I am still believing that he is going to come. Looking down at my phone every 5 mins, no call, no text, nothing! I walk in the house, and there are a few guests there already! Hey Nikea, this is my friend Jerome! Hey Nikea, this is my new friend James….are you serious? This what we doing now? Everybody got somebody now all of a sudden..ugh!! But, you know God, you may not come when I want ya, but homie you sho nuff on time! As I walked in the kitchen, my phone rings! I almost dropped whatever I was carrying, and ran outside so I could hear.

God, it is him, oh my goodness! Hello (naw that is too pressed) Hola (no that sounds dumb) I finally answer, Hey Ryan how are you? He says I am good. Then he continues on to say, ummmm yeah, so I was calling because I wanted to get your sisters address. Can you hold on please? God, I hit the mute button, and all I could do was scream YESSSSSSSS!! I take the phone off mute, and he says hello where did you go? Oh I had to get the address from my sister. God, forgive me for lying, but he couldn’t know I was screaming and shouting in the garage. I give him the address, and guess what, he showed up!

When he arrived, let me tell you how everyone broke their neck trying to see who this fine tall man was. All the women who doubted, everyone who was married before me, everyone who chose to settle, all the people who brought their dates, they sat in silence and just stared as he walked by. I stood in the corner and laughed as he walked to me and said hey Kea, God I wanted to ask him to marry me, that is how fine he was looking that day. I wanted to jump in their faces and say yeah that’s me right there, but God, I kept my cool, and the look on their faces was priceless. I know God, I was not trying to rub anything in, but man oh man, you have no idea how excited I was and still am. God, if this goes like I believe it is going to go, just know from me to you; he was sure enough worth the wait!!

I will tell you more about the cook out later. I am on cloud 9 right now. Did I tell you how much you mean to me God? You are awesome! Love Ya! You are the man!!


Have you ever met that girl, or been friends with that girl who acts like she got it going on because she has something that you do not? That girl that you some what hate on because she seems to have it all? Money, Man, Career, Real hair that is long and allllllll hers, drives a nice car, but is straight up empty on the inside, yeah her. She always telling you what you need to do to get a man, yet her own advice does not seem to work in her own life because, she can’t seem to keep a man herself? She isn’t happy with her own life, but she swears she knows how to tell others how to be happy in theirs. Always putting you down because of your standards! But when she speaks, you are sitting there like God when are you gonna give me what she got though? Why hast thou forsaken me? No, what He is doing is saving you from things you don’t even understand or see, but you say really God? I thought you said you were no respecter of persons? Why is it that she has more than me? Baby girl,you have things money can’t buy; morals, values, God, family, respect, honor, love, things she doesn’t have, and you mad? 

YOU should NEVER compare your life with someone else’s life. Sometimes people can use external things to replace what is missing internal. Some women are so desperate to pursue short term fulfillment just so they won’t be alone. With Christ, we are never alone! Don’t settle and be with just anybody because you feel lonely! God says I will never leave you nor forsake you! Do you believe that? If you do, then act like it! 

Don’t be moved by what others seem to have, and don’t make any apologies for your stand! You keep believing and let the people talk, your pay day is coming girl! Keep holding on! I am telling you it is worth it, and remember the first shall be last, and the last shall be first ok boo! Keep running the race! You are almost there!  Don’t faint and don’t get discouraged, your time is no longer coming, your time is NOW!

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Pretty Girls Wait Conference August 7-8 2015

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4 thoughts on “Diary Of Mad Black Virgin “The Cook Out”

  1. I have really enjoyed your posts. Each week your post talk directly to me and fits what I’m going through at this time. Thanks for being obedient to God and using your testimony to help others!


  2. This is my very first time reading your blog and I must say I absolutely loved it!. I always go through those thoughts of what about me and why am I here at the cook out and functions by myself, when will it be my time to have a companion. I don’t like to settle and after a while I enjoyed going out by myself… Less drama and foolishness! But I’m learning how to be patient and wait to listen to the Holy Spirit instructions. Hard at times but I have been keeping myself busy so I don’t have time to think about being single. Thanks for this Nikea!!


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