Diary Of Mad Black Virgin “Friends First”


Ugh, the clock is ticking, and I still don’t know if I should tell him I am free for dinner today. God, I am kinda, sorta, just a tad bit irritated. I mean, you keep bringing this man around, to do what? Play with my emotions? One minute he asks me all these questions, then he says he wants to focus on YOU! What has he been doing all this time? I haven’t seen the man in years, and he chooses now to get close to you. That is what I will tell him. I am sorry Ryan, I am not free for dinner. Maybe you and the Lord should make plans. That is so rude, and sarcastic, and I need to stop playing childish games, but it is so true. God, if he wants to see me so bad, let him reach out to me. I am done chasing men. I am done trying to fit a circle in a square. Trying to make something fit, that was never for me in the first place. I am nobody’s toy you feel me? Hold up, my phone is ringing. Oh my, it’s him! Should I answer? I guess you said “Yes”. Hello, I said. Hey, Nikea, how are you? I am blessed and highly favored! (lol that is so lame). Sooooo, are you free tonight for dinner? Here I go Jesus!! Yes, I am free for dinner. What time should I meet you at the restaurant? Here he go, messing up the convo, I will pick you up. Can’t have my “FRIEND” driving to the restaurant. Pause** Is this where I slap him from the phone. Friend?? That is what we are now? I am going to fix this! Play** You know what, I think it is best that I meet you there. Don’t worry about picking me up. (ooh that was so rude Nikea) Nikea, I want to pick you up, he says. Why? My smart mouth says, How many friends do you pick up for dinner? (Nikea, girl what are you doing? You don’t have to be so feisty)

He then replies and says, you know I like you, and I want to take things slow, but I think it is so important that we become friends first. I have rushed into so many relationships without even knowing the other person. We never took time to just be friends before we became a couple. I want to know what you enjoy doing. What is your favorite color? What do you desire to do in life? What are some things that make you sad? What are some things that make you happy? I want to get to know you, and be your best friend.  I hope you don’t take what I am saying the wrong way.

Pause** God, oh my goodness, he is pulling his player cards for real today! Is this line from how to grab a virgin christian? What chapter is this line from? Chapter 6 “Tell Her What She Wanna Hear”. Ughhh I don’t know what this man is doing, and it is scary. I don’t want him to see my emotions because Kaylow and Rebecca said I show my emotions too quick in relationships. Susie said I always fall for the man too fast. Jamie said, never let them see you sweat. None of them have a man, but they sure like to give advice huh? Well God, you tell me what I need to do. What? Just go with the flow? What does that mean? Stop over thinking it. Ughhh, if he hurts me Jesus, it’s you and me. Play** Wow, that really made a lot of sense. Well in that case, you can pick me up. I would love that. Awesome!! He said! We can talk more at dinner, but I will be there around 6:00 PM to get you. Thank you for making my day! I then reply with my smart mouth, don’t get too excited. He says, what did you say? I said, I am so excited. OK see you soon!

God, I am really trying to trust you with this. All the things my friends told me keep popping in my head. I am not trying to be the chick every man runs over. I am not trying to be the gullible virgin. The one who believes what every man tells her, and look where that got me, no where. I need you to continue to help me with myself, and I pray that we have a good dinner tonight, and that I can drop the weight of my past, my fears, and even the wrong opinions of others! Continue to help me trust you!


Proverbs 1:5 (Amplified) The wise will hear and increase in learning, and the person of understanding will acquire skill and attain to sound counsel (so that he may be able to steer his course rightly). You know my problem was that I was seeking counsel from others, but it wasn’t wise counsel. I would ask friends what I should do regarding my relationship, and they would give me their opinions, but it wasn’t wise counsel. Sometimes people can become jealous once they see you in a good situation, and their jealousy can cause them to give us wrong advice because they truly don’t want to see you happy.

I do believe in any relationship it is important to be friends first, and to get to know someone. The most important thing to do is make sure you hear what God is saying in the matter. Hear God, trust Him, and then do what He says. My true friends and I would get together and just pray for God’s wisdom in my new relationship. Choose friends that have the same heart for God that you have. Choose friends that have your back not only in the fresh, but also in the spirit.

Stay Encouraged Loves!! I pray for God’s will to be fulfilled in your life, and that He will surround you with the right friends and relationships!

What an amazing time we had at the Pretty Girls Wait Conference this past weekend! We will be getting together every other month, just to fellowship with one another, and encourage one another. Our next get together will be in October, so be on the look out for that!


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