Diary Of Mad Black Virgin “I Am Worth It”

Ok, Ok, Ok! Yes!! I felt you say yes Lord! Yes, I will see you again I told him. What do you want to do? I asked. He said, whatever you want to do. Well, I think we can chill here with my family. Is that ok with you? I said. He said, yes, I would love to. As we pulled up to the house, he opened my door, and walked me to the door, and we said goodnight. I felt like a princess! Then, I realized, his car door probably did not open from the inside, and that is why he opened it!! But, I would not let anything take my moment away!  God, as I sit here in my room, and reflect on all that is going on, I am just amazed. I can’t believe that he actually wants to hang with my family. A lot of the men I had before, they always wanted to have me alone. There were times when I had weak moments, and could not handle being alone, and I would explain that to them, but, they didn’t seem to care. Yes, we are grown, and yes I have enough Holy Spirit in me to be able to stand, but my friends and my family, they were so special to me, and they had my back!

Other men, they felt that I was too old to have accountability, and I would tell them, you are never too old to have accountability. Those men could have been crazy, or have some secrets, and my family and friends could see things that maybe I could not see. It was also for protection purpose as well. God, I sit here in tears because so far, he is all that I have prayed for and then some. At first, I felt like this is too good to be true! But, then I remembered who I was! I am worth having someone respect me! I am worth having someone who values me. I am worth someone who makes time to come 1 hour away almost every day just to spend time with me. I am worth someone who prays with me every time we get off the phone! I am worth someone who respects my morals. I am worth it! God, it is too early to say, but I think he is feeling me, and I just want this relationship to honor you in every way. God, I speak over this relationship right now in the name of Jesus. God, I come against the lust of our flesh. I pray that we will continue to stand, and that we will continue to live the life that you are pleased with. Give us wisdom in every area of this relationship. My desire is to make your name famous! My desire is for other couples to see Jesus in us. I just want your will to be done! As I am saying my AMEN, my phone rings. Of course we all know it was him.

Hello, I say. Hey, he says. Whats up? I asked. He said, I just wanted to let you know I made it home safely. I also wanted to tell you that I had a great time with you. I said, I had a great time with you also. He, then proceeds to say that he can’t wait to hang with me and my family tomorrow, and asked if he should bring something over. I said yeah, some tissues, because we are a competitive family, and we don’t want you crying going home after you lose. He laughs, and he says, oh I am down for the challenge. He then says, you are something else girl. I then ask him, Why is it that you drive every day to see me? You never ask me to meet you half way, and you never complain. God, here he goes again saying the right answer, my desire to be with you, means more to me than the distance. I value you, and you are worth the drive. Are you serious? I asked. He said yes I am. I appreciate building our friendship, and seeing where we go from here. he said. I said, ok. I appreciate the fact that you want to see me! It means a lot to me. He then says, well it is getting late, so you know before we get off the phone, we have to pray. He leads us in prayer, and after we say amen, I say, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, and he says, believe me it can’t get here soon enough. Goodnight! As I hang up the phone, and I go back to my prayer, God, please HELP me! I want to be with this dude so bad, but help me trust your timing, and not try and rush into things faster than I need to. I know tomorrow is going to be amazing, and I just thank you for continuing to show me I AM WORTH IT!


In this blog, I wanted you to realize that God created you flawless! You are truly one of a kind, and you are worth more than rubies! Know your worth, and know that you are a QUEEN! Don’t settle for less than you deserve! I also wanted to say that it is so important to have a relationship that honors God, and that you grow in God together. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17 (MSG)- You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another. Iron sharpens Iron. There is a mutual benefit in the rubbing of 2 iron blades together; the edges become sharper, making the knives more efficient in their task to cut and slice. Likewise, the Word of God is a “double edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12), and it is with this that we are to sharpen one another. In our relationship, we spent a lot of time sharpening one another with the Word of God, and with prayer!

Is your relationship sharpening your blade, or making your blade dull? Are you growing more in God, or moving further away from God? Does your man or woman’s talk match their walk?  I was honest in our relationship, and there were times when we were spending a lot of time alone, and because we are sharpening one another, we both would feel almost at the same time, maybe we need to hang out with our family or friends today, or maybe not hang out at all. I loved that about our relationship! We enjoyed having accountability, and being accountable with one another! We realized it was necessary, and it made us stronger! I encourage you to be prayerful in everything that you do, listen to the Holy Spirit,  and enjoy the journey! With God, you can’t go wrong!

Stay Encouraged Loves!!

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