Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin “Letter To Me”

Dear God,

As I wake up the morning of my wedding, I had a letter that I wrote to myself when I was 18, and I read it to myself before I got dressed for the BIG day. Hey girl, you have finally graduated from high school, and good Lord, it was a rough time. Girl, there were moments when I didn’t think we were going to make it out sane, but God. Now what do we want to do with ourselves now that we have graduated? I want to have a music career, and if that doesn’t pop off, I want to be a teacher. I hate school, but I know I need to go to college, but I ain’t got time for the drama. I guess we should have figured that out way before now! You are a bad woman with your 4.0 GPA, and your Valedictorian self! God is good, in the words of mom, He is mmmmmmmmm Campbell’s good! But, what can I say to the 10 year from now me? Girl, I hope that you ain’t give up the cookie, unless you got the ringy! Well, hold up, 10 years girl, I hope you are married by now! God, don’t play with our emotions. I hope that you are living out your dream, and if you decide to have children, that they will be such a blessing. I hope that you take notes from your mother, and raise your children accordingly. I hope that you love yourself unconditionally, and that you don’t settle for anything less than God’s best.

Girl, I hope that you are using your life to inspire others. I hope you are past that selfish stage. Remember, life is not just about you. I mean yes, it should be, but I get it! It’s not being cocky, it is being confident, I know, but sometimes you can come off a little arrogant, just saying, I hope you have grown out of that. I hope that you learn that everyone is not your FRIEND! Everyone does not have your best interest at heart. You just need one or two down for you girlfriends, and that is it. If you read this, and you have more than two, you need to get rid of some people. If you are married, don’t tell everybody your business, and don’t always tell everyone how good your man is, girl hush! Love your man unconditionally, and be his best friend. If you are out of shape, you need to get in shape. Your man gonna need you to “keep up” if you know what I mean. He can’t lift you over the threshold, and be out of breath. OK, if your husband, or man to be is not a virgin, don’t over think, and compare yourself to whomever he may have been with. Trust and believe that you are going to be the baddest, and the best that he ever had! Walk in that bedroom with confidence, and know old things in his life has passed away, and he will love you like you were the only woman he had ever been with! I pray that you have recorded a few CD’s by now, and that you are traveling all over the world with your music, and your ministry. Siiinnnnngggggg Girrrrlllll!!! Girl, I hope that you are planted in a great church that preaches amazing, life changing word. Don’t be just filling seats, but be apart of a ministry. If you read this letter, and you have reached the 10 year from now woman, and none of this has happened, don’t get discouraged. At the end of the day, God’s will is going to be done in your life, so trust Him! You are amazing, You are phenomenal, You are beautiful, You are blessed, You are favored, YOU ARE YOU, AND CAN’T NOBODY DO YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO!

As I am looking at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes, my friend knocks on the bathroom door and says, come on girl, lets get this party started, Are you ready? Just a minute I say! God, in the moments when I thought about quitting, I thank you for not letting me. In those moments when I felt less than, I thank you for showing me that I was more than. In those moments when I felt lonely, thank you for always being there. God, I am excited, and scared at the same time. I cannot believe I am about to be a wife! I want to be the best wife, and I want to bring the best of me to the altar. I know our marriage will not be perfect, but allow us to communicate, and allow us to not sweat the small stuff. Keep us on one accord, and let our marriage honor you! Let our marriage be an amazing example of you on the earth God! Oh my goodness, it is about to go down! I love you so much!! And, don’t let me trip walking down the aisle, I am too cute for that! I love you so much!


Sometimes you have to encourage yourself! David in the Bible even had to encourage himself. 1 Samuel 30:6 (KJV) But David encouraged himself in the Lord His God. Sometimes you have to speak life to yourself. Sometimes you have to tell yourself that you are worth God’s best! That you are amazing! That you are extraordinary. Even if you don’t see it, you speak it until it becomes your reality. You look at yourself in the mirror, and you speak what you believe, not what you see right now. You have to talk to yourself, your 10 year from now self, your 10 year from then self, and you tell her what you believe. The tears I cried was because the things I believed, they were manifested. I looked at that letter, and things happened even sooner than I thought they would. My faith was on fleek, and I held on to every promise, and God did not let me down! Even when things got tough, I held on to God like Jacob in the Bible, and said, I will not let you go until you bless my soul! I encourage you to live a life Full of Faith, and watch God be FaithFul to you!  I believe in you, and I am excited about your future! Stay Encouraged Loves!

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