Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin “Life After Sex”

The night of the honeymoon was a great night. I mean, it was a little weird at first, and oh my goodness it was uncomfortable, but I did it! I married my best friend, and now I am no longer the “V” word. All my life, my parents taught me about being virtuous, and not compromising my standards, and waiting for sex until marriage, and wow I did it. I accomplished this amazing goal, and what a gift to give to my husband! So, we come home from the honeymoon, and now reality sets in. Oh my goodness! Life hit me, and it hit me hard. I put so much effort into waiting, that I didn’t prepare to be a wife. All my life, I literally just spent time waiting, but I also wasted a lot of time. This house is amazing, but who is going to clean it? Not I, said the wife. That wasn’t in my wait book. Who is going to do the laundry and cook the food? Not I, said the wife. Dude, I spent 25 years waiting for you, you owe me! My husband looked at me, and said are you serious? Yes, I am a PRINCESS, and you will serve me! *My parents told me I was a PRINCESS, and that any man who I ended up with, should treat me as such*! As I walk up to my room, I said, I will have breakfast now, and then I think I will rest because I have been on my feet all day. Now mind you, I only walked from the car to the door. LOL

My husband looks at me and says, who are you? What planet are you from? What have I gotten myself into? And ladies and gentleman, this is when it went all the way left for us. Look, I said, I am not the housewife type of chick, I think we can get a maid or something, but I have waited for you for too long, and now you have to serve and honor me as your wife. Do you know how many men wanted me, and by the unction of the Holy Spirit, I told them no! I will not lay with you, all of this is for my husband! He is going to value me, and honor me, all the days of his life! When I looked at my husband, he looked at me and said, Nikea, your virginity is gone, what else do you have to offer? In that moment, I realized I had nothing else to offer him. God, I didn’t properly prepare for life after sex!

Hey, everyone! I am back! This blog is definitely going to be the real deal. I want a lot of ladies to know that you MUST prepare yourself to be a wife. This blog series is going to show you the mistakes I made, and help you through your journey. Being a virgin is an amazing thing, but that is just one amazing thing. There are so many other amazing things you should be doing while you are waiting on your BIG DAY! For some reason, I felt that all I needed to be was a virgin, and he needed to be everything else. Yeah, what planet was I from? What I can say is, don’t wait and waste time just waiting. Are you preparing while you are waiting?

Don’t wait to be married to pursue your dreams, pursue your dreams now. Be content with being single. Be complete as one, before you try and be complete as two. Don’t think marriage will fix your loneliness, because what do you think you are going to feel when he leaves to go to work, or leave for a business trip? What about your finances? Make smart financial decisions. Work on your budget, save your money, have a financial plan. Don’t just live in this fairy tale world, and think that he is going to just take care of you for the rest of your life. What happens if he loses his job? What happens if he gets sick, and can’t work? How about vision? What is your vision for your family? Have you written your vision down? Make sure you all talk about your expectations before you get married. So, what do you expect from me as your wife? What do you expect from me as your husband? My husband hates doing this dishes, but he loves doing laundry. We had to talk about these things. Can you at least do the dishes? I mean, do we have a dishwasher? I was something else ya’ll, I don’t mind being honest, but have those conversations BEFORE hand, that way there are no surprises!

The scripture I had to meditate on was Mark 3:25-And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Our house was ridiculously divided, and we almost didn’t survive! I thank God for amazing Pastors who weren’t afraid to tell me about me, and I was woman enough to make changes. I thank God for a patient, sometimes irritated husband, who told me about me, and I made changes. Unfortunately, I focused so much on having spiritual and legal permission to “get some”, but not focused on after the cherry pops, what ya got? I didn’t properly prepare for what I asked God for, and now, I have to learn while I am in it! Just buckle your seat belts folks, it is going to be an amazing ride, but the blessing is that we made it through! Marriage is definitely hard work, but it is a job I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Until Next Tuesday! Be blessed loves


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Our organization PRETTY (Pure Righteous Eternally True To You) Girls Wait, is an organization to uplift, inspire, and encourage all ladies to know their worth and attain high standards. We also want to properly prepare you for your future! Wait with purpose!





3 thoughts on “Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin “Life After Sex”

  1. Nikea,

    This is so awesome that you are speaking from your heart. Women need to hear this and learn about their true worth, and how God wants us to focus on Him first. You see, the real deal is it all boils down to seeking Him first, then everything else will fall into place. Even when we have made mistakes, or married the wrong Joe before understanding that waiting for the man God desires for us to have our eyes would have been enlightened as to the “right kind of Joe” to attach ourselves to. Not only is it important to wait, but wait for the right one… after we know who “we” are! However, he’ll work that out too! I’m not going to go into that right now, because I know you got it covered. Looking forward to seeing your growth!

    Sistah Soldier


  2. Yes, young lady. Many are going to get a wake up call when they realize that the fairytale only exists in their mind. So many want to get married and they’re not ready mentally financially emotionally and physically. Mind body spirit connection is important thank you for Your story very inspiring hopefully eyes will be opened. Waiting on the Lord to send your Boaz is very important, and when we choose for ourselves there are issues that we have to live with many end up in divorce. Blessings.


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