Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin: Here We Grow Again #THEBIGGERPICTURE

Dear God,

I don’t know if you have read your word lately, but you said that you would NOT put more on me than I can bear. Maybe you see my back stronger than I see my own back. I go to the doctor for my check up after my c-section surgery, and they said I have an infection from my c-section. They told me I had to go to the hospital right away, and get antibiotics through an IV for a few days. God, in case you forgot, I have an infant! Who is going to keep my baby for a few days while I am in the hospital? Thank God my sister came with me to my doctor’s appointment and told me not to worry. She said that she would take the baby, and keep him for as long as I needed her to. She took me home to get some clothes, and I just had a breakdown. It has been one thing after another, and I think it all hit me at once. Nothing seemed to be going my way! It seems like I get punched in the gut, and before I can recover from that punch, I get punched again. My dad dropped me off at the hospital, and my husband met me there, and all I could do was cry. I can’t breastfeed my baby because of the antibiotics, and they told me to just pump the breast milk, and then dump it. I have to keep pumping or I will lose my breast milk! Who wants to sit there and pump out all this milk, just to dump it out? I can’t see my baby because I am here in the hospital, and I am struggling. It was hard enough trying to recover from my c-section, and still do all that I had to do for my son. I couldn’t move around like I wanted to,  I couldn’t hold him like I wanted to, and to top it all off, I now have an infection! I want to GO HOME!

My husband came to stay with me at the hospital, but he had to pay an important bill the next day, and was conflicted with whether he should try and finish ubering or not while I was resting up. I told him to just go drive because I wanted to be alone anyway. He said babe I will be back as soon as I finish! I just want to make sure the water will be on when you come home from the hospital, and I am just a few dollars short of reaching my goal for the day so I can pay this bill before tomorrow afternoon. I promise you I will not be out long. I understand that he didn’t know I was going to be in the hospital today, but goodness, this is way too much!

God, for the first time in my Christian walk, I wanted to say every curse word in the book, get a strong drink, throw the hospital bed out of the window while I was still on it, and punch my husband in the face. I know he means well, but dang, tell the water company that your wife isn’t doing well. I need him right now, but I need water too, and this is his only job right now, so I know he is in a tough spot! God, you and I have had some issues previously, and I know you always tell me all things work for the good, but this right here is a HOT MESS! Trouble don’t last always huh? We will see! I don’t know what is going on, but all I can say is, HERE WE GROW AGAIN!

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT 

For some reason all I could do was think about Job in the Bible. Job was a faithful man,  Job loved and feared God, Job never cursed, he was probably a virgin before he got married, he probably was called HOLY JOB in school, and he probably did his very best to live a life that was pleasing to God! God blessed Job with a wife, children, money, and the man was rich! I could relate to Job in this moment because I was faithful to God, I loved and feared God, I only cursed a little in high school, I was a virgin when I got married, I was called the HOLY HOOKER (yes that was my last name before I got married…..ok you can stop laughing now lol), I tried my very best to live a life that was pleasing unto God. God blessed me with the man of my dreams, this amazing son, but the only difference is that I am still waiting for my funds to be released. But, back to my story about Job!  Satan tried to tell God that the only reason Job was serving Him was because God blessed Him with all these things. He said, God, Job only serves you because of the benefits! If you took everything away, will he still serve you? God said, let me tell you something devil, this man loves me with all his heart, and He will continue to serve me no matter what is thrown at him. He isn’t a God-digger! He doesn’t just come to me for things, or love me because of what I do for him! He has a relationship with me, and he is an amazing man whom I am pleased of. I wonder what God tells the enemy about me? I wonder if the enemy said God, the only reason Nikea serves you is because she finally got a man, she finally has an amazing career, things are going great in her life. Will she still serve you when she experiences troubles? My man Job lost everything! He lost his children, his money, his wife, and his friends, but Job said; The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord. Yes, bad things happen to good people, but what is your response? Can you see the bigger picture even in the bad? I ain’t gonna lie, it took me a minute to process!  I had to ask myself, what is God doing in the midst of this? Why did He choose me? 

While I was at the hospital, I was able to witness to the nurses about Jesus. When our home was almost auctioned, my family got to see God show up and show out. While my husband was out of work, God blessed us with finances to pay our bills.We received  unexpected checks in the mail. We even had family members and friends, who didn’t even know our situation, give us money. Sometimes we look at our circumstances, and not the bigger picture! Job lost it all, but he also got double for his trouble! The other blessing is that Job never went through that ever again! Job didn’t do like some of us would do. He didn’t drink his problems away. He didn’t say screw this walk with God. He didn’t look for multiple people to sleep with. He didn’t go to the nearest club in the city. He stayed true to who he was, and he said, BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!

Job’s BIGGER PICTURE:

God used Job to teach Bible readers like you and me, hundreds of years later, how to handle life when things get tough. He taught us that suffering is not always related to wickedness. God used Job to teach us that suffering can bring rewards, and even joy. (James 1:2-Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.) God used Job’s story to teach us that God is worthy of our praise and worship no matter what. He also used Job to show us that we will get double for our trouble, and we will get rewarded for our faithfulness. He used Job to show us the victory on the other side of what can feel like defeat. God used Job to show us true character. What is your story going to reveal to others? Will it reveal that when things get tough you quit? When life throws obstacles, do you throw in the towel? Will your story say, she gave in because she was tired of waiting? Will your story say she gave up on life because it got hard? Can you still say, Blessed be the name of the Lord?

While I was in the hospital, I prayed and cried out to God, and some how it made me feel better. My situation did not change right away, but my perspective did. I began to see all of the lives who will be blessed by my testimony! No matter what Nikea went through, she still stayed faithful! I began to see the glory in my story. Who needs me to get through so they can get through? In the midst of it all, I will say; BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD! I will still serve you! I will still honor you, and I will still trust you! My life is attached to someone else’s, and I have to overcome, so they can overcome by the words of my testimony!  I finally saw #THEBIGGERPICTURE!!

Until next week loves!

        CUTE AND COMFY WITH NIKKI B

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What’s up everyone!! Yesssssssss, it is me, your girl, Nikki B! I am back!! I wanted to give you guys a cute and comfy look. You can rock a sweater, jeans, and some flat boots, and still be fabulous. You make the clothes, the clothes don’t make you. My favorite store is Forever 21, and you can get all these items I have on from there. Well, let me be real, these boots are Uggs!! You don’t have to get Uggs, you can get BUggs and nobody will care! Girl, just do you, and do you well! Nobody can outdo you boo! It is alright to be comfy, chill, and cute. Remember, I do all this for you!! Please join me tonight @ 7 PM on FB live as I do my live makeup video! It is going to be informative, and it will be hilarious! Follow me!

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My birthday bash is going to be off the chain! Please join me for an amazing time!

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Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin: Here We Grow Again #healthyrelationship

God, I need you to call the whole squad right now because I am about to lose it. Tweet Jesus, Facebook message the Holy Spirit, Instagram the angels, like I need everyone on their post. Ever since we almost lost our house, my husband has been ubering his life away. He wakes up at 11 AM and leaves the house around noon, comes home around midnight, showers and goes back to sleep, and then the next day, he does it all over again. Hello husband, did you forget that we have a newborn baby to look after?

I am in this house pretty much all day by myself. The baby’s schedule is crazy, and I am completely exhausted. I understand that he is trying to do what he has to do to provide, but what about providing his attention? What about providing a diaper or a bottle? Am I being selfish? Am I not being a team player? I know he doesn’t want us to ever go through what we just went through again, but this is too much! I am sorry but, I didn’t sign up to live right, be a virgin, get married, have sex, and become a single mama who is married. If we keep going like this, our relationship is not going to make it. I know the recipe for a healthy relationship is communication, but God, I have a feeling that I am going to pop off. You know I struggle with communication. It’s either I say nothing, or I say too much! There is no in between. I don’t want to hurt his feelings so God, let’s practice on what I should say. Honey, I appreciate all that you do, but dang, you only making $100 in 12 hours. Nah, that isn’t good. Honey, I know that you are trying, but I need help too. I am still recovering from my  c-section surgery, and I can’t do it all. I didn’t make this baby alone, so I shouldn’t have to care for him alone. Nah, that isn’t good either. Babe look, I know that you are the head of this household, and I appreciate all that you do. I don’t want you to think that I am complaining, but I would really appreciate it if we could come to a fair compromise here. I know you have put out job applications on every website in the world, and for whatever reason, nothing seems to be coming your way. I am sure this is a tough place to be in not only as a man, but also a husband, and now a new father. I can only imagine what you are going through, but babe we are in this together. God is making us completely uncomfortable in this season, but we cannot fall apart. We need each other more now than ever. I would love if we could sit down and come up with a strategic plan that works for the both of us. UGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!  God, I need you to give me wisdom, and I need you to help me communicate my heart without being insensitive to his. I don’t know what is going on, but all I can say is, Here We Grow Again!  

***WORDS OF WISDOM***

When I was growing up, it was so hard for me to communicate. My mom used to tell me not to talk back after an adult, so after someone older spoke to me, I would just walk away and be quiet. I never learned how to communicate properly. When I got married, my husband would try and talk to me, and instead of speaking up, I would go upstairs to my room and be quiet, or hold it all in and explode! We went to counseling because I struggled with communication. I remembered one day, my mom said something to me, and I exploded. It was like I kept it all in, and popped off at the wrong time, and on the wrong person! I had to learn that it was ok to talk about how I felt in a respectful way, because holding all of that in was unhealthy. Communication is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship. I spoke to my husband and explained how I felt, and we decided to compromise. He still went out to uber, but he wouldn’t do it as late. He would only drive on certain days so I could rest, and he would make sure to be in the house at a certain time to make sure we didn’t lose us in the process. I explained to him how hard it was trying to do it all by myself, and I was frustrated. He apologized, and everything started to become better. Thank God I expressed my heart in love, and he expressed his heart in love as well. I was so happy because holding all that in was stressful. 

I also learned that it was OK to talk to God about my TRUE feelings as well. He can handle them, and help me through them. Sometimes the saints can make you feel that you always have to be ON. How are you? Blessed of the Lord! How was your day? Glorious! What is going on? Nothing because I have the Lord on my side. Knowing good and well you about to lose your mind, you just just lost a family member, you are still single and irritated, your kids acting a mess, your car just got repossessed, and so on and so on. It is OK to be honest about your feelings. I love my man David in the Bible! He had a healthy relationship with God, and he would always tell God his truth, but then he would end with praise.

Psalms 42:9-11 (NLT) O God my rock, I cry, Why have you forgotten me? Why, must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies? Their taunts break my bones. They scoff, Where is this God of yours? Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again, my Savior and my God. Notice that David began this Psalm with his truth, BUT ended with God’s truth and continued to praise even in the midst of his hurt and disappointment. It is normal to get discouraged and disappointed, but as you reflect on who God is, you remember that you can trust Him through every hurt and every disappointment. Don’t dismiss your feelings, and hold them all in, that isn’t a healthy spiritual relationship either. If you were David, what would your scripture say? God, what’s up? Have you forgotten me? Why am I still waiting on a man? Why did you allow this situation to happen to me? Why am I so discouraged? My family laughs at me and says, where is this God of yours? If He is real, why do you keep asking me for money? If he is real, why didn’t He answer your prayers? My heart is so sad God! BUT through it all, I will still put my hope in you! Yet will I praise you, my Savior and my God! God can handle your truth boo, but just make sure you can handle His TRUTH as well! He says 1 John 5:14-This is the CONFIDENCE which we have before Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us! John 15:7- If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you! You have to exercise your faith in order to have a healthy relationship with God. If I prayed it, believe that it’s already done! I may not see it, but I believe! Keep pushing, Keep pressing, and Keep praising!

Until Next Week Love Bugs!!

GETTING HEALTHY WITH NIKKI B 

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What’s up family! As you can see, your girl Nikki B, which is me, is ready to get fit for the spring/summer you see! I know you heard the rhyming skills right there! LOL

I am wearing my waist trainer that you can purchase from Ross, TJ Maxx, or WalMart for $5. The waist trainer is basically a faith trainer. It allows you to see what your waist can become before it actually becomes that. But, they said faith is something you can’t see, so make sure you put that trainer underneath your clothes, that way nobody can see that your waist really looks like this. (DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT MY WAIST) This is why I call it a faith trainer. She is wearing this until her stomach becomes what she believes. WON’T HE DO IT! TURN TO YOUR NEIGHBOR AND SAY FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!!

In order to be healthy, we can’t just exercise, and eat whatever we want. You won’t get that great of a result if you just do that! I have to activate my faith, but the Bible also says faith without works is dead. So look to your neighbor and say, I gotta WORK on having better portion control, so I won’t need this waist control anymore. One thing I decided to do was, prepare my meals for the week. Meal prepping helps you have portion control, and it also helps you with money control. You can save your money by not eating out all the time when you have your meals already prepared, and you can see how many calories are in your meals. Come on church!! We are going to be tight and right for the summer, and remember, I am here for you boo!! We are all in this together! For more health, fashion, and beauty tips, follow me!

     @Nikki Brown (Facebook) @Nikki_Nikkay (Instagram)

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DMV!!! COME CELBRATE MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME!! CAN’T WAIT!!

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Dear Valentine’s Day!

Dear Valentines Day,

Well, another year, and I am still sending myself flowers to my job. I made sure the card on the flowers read, You are the best thing that has ever happened to me! I think I am going to dress up again this year and go to my favorite restaurant with my 3 friends; me, myself, and I. Table for 3 please! Good evening ma’am, are you waiting on 2 other guests? Oh no sir, they are here! Oh, are they in the bathroom? Nope, it is just me, myself, and I. Can you split the check 3 ways? How about I take myself to a movie, and put my dad’s jacket in the seat next to mine. You never know who you might see there, and if they ask if I am alone, I can tell them my man went to get us some popcorn. How many more V days am I going to be alone? You are starting to become my most hated day of the year!

Sincerely,

Sis Lonely

Dear Valentines Day,

YESSSSSS! I finally have a man today! We have been dating for a few months now, and it has been getting kind of hard to wait. You know what I say, what happens on Valentine’s Day, stays on Valentine’s Day. I mean, I am trying to keep my flesh under control, but when he sees me with this sexy dress on, it is going to be hard for him to keep his hands off of me. I mean, a little cleavage ain’t never hurt nobody.He told me that self control was something he was still struggling with, but does he know how long I have been waiting to wear this dress? I have had this dress in my closet for the past 3 years, and I am going to wear it tonight. I hope that he knows it is not going down tonight. Well, I hope it doesn’t go down tonight. Let me make sure I put on my cute underwear, you know, just in case he tries. You know what, I have come this far, and I won’t turn back now, so there is no need for me to get my razor. Why is my razor in my hand? God you know my heart!  You said be ye ever ready!

Sincerely,

Ms. God Knows I’m Trying

Dear Sis Lonely,

Being alone and being lonely are 2 different things. One can be alone without feeling lonely, and one can feel lonely in a crowded room. Guess what? Those people who have relationships that you may be envious of today, they may feel more lonely than you do. Loneliness is a state of mind, an emotion brought on by feelings of separation, or sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned. Thank God that He says, I will never leave you nor forsake you. The same God who was with you February 13th, is the same God who will be with you today. He expresses His love to you everyday of the week. Don’t act brand new because you don’t have a date today. You are still amazing! You are still phenomenal! You are still beautiful! You are still fabulous! Your worth and value is not based on a earthly relationship status, but on your Heavenly relationship status! He will always make you feel like a QUEEN! Come on church and sing this with me, falling in love, with Jesus, was the best thing I have ever, ever done! Remember it is only a day! You got this boo! #neverlonely

Dear Ms. God Knows I’m Trying

Yes, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory, but that doesn’t mean you go into the situation already knowing you are going to fall. Guess what? God’s standards do not change because it is Valentine’s Day. Ladies, we know what we are doing. We talk a real good game. Oh no, I am going to wait, but then we wear a freakum dress knowing good and well it will cause that man to fall.

1 Corinthians 8:9- But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. Are you going to cause that man to stumble when you wear that outfit tonight? If the answer is yes, you may want to find something else to wear. Also know that purity and holiness are not out of fashion with God. They are out of fashion with the world, your friends, and maybe your family, but holiness is still important to God. 1 Corinthians 6 reminds us that our body is a temple, so don’t be letting any and everybody open the doors to the church! (My version) Glorify God with your body! Today is Valentine’s Day, not your wedding day! No ringy, No dingy! No wed, No bed! Until I say I do, I don’t! #youcandateandwait

Next week I will continue with our regularly scheduled blog!

Until Next Week Loves!! Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you

                                                     

                                   Hey!! It’s Me, Nikki B

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Hey lovely ladies! Who said that you have to wear red for Valentine’s Day? There isn’t anything wrong with a black dress! See, my grandmother taught me to pray without ceasing. When I go to the mall, I say, Dear Lord, I thank you for the discounts that will make me shout! You know when you get a deal, something comes over you. Let me tell you how good my God is! I went into H&M (I went in there because I thought it stood for Holy and Magnificent) I felt in my spirit that store had a sale for me. I found this top and skirt on sale for $10 each. Y’all I wanted to shout in the store! Then the Holy Spirit kept saying, I love you forever, and I said, I love you forever Lord..But I realized he was not talking about the Tye Tribbett song, but he was directing me to Forever 21! I searched all over, and I didn’t see anything, until this sweater caught my eye. Ya’ll the sweater was only $10! Can we say FAVOR! 

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My lipstick is from Coulour pop, and only $6. My mother sells jewelry, so I borrowed (cough) this necklace from her! Thank you Nikki B Jewels for the blessing! Boom, there you have it ladies! Remember, I do all this for you! #frugalandfierce

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DC, MARYLAND, AND VA!!! Please join me for my BIG BIRTHDAY BASH!! If you sing, dance, do spoken word, please come out and share your gift with me! I am also going to be in concert as well! This is an event you do not want to miss!!

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If you are interested in ordering your PRETTY (Pure Righteous Eternally True To You) Girls Wait shirt, please email prettygirlswait@gmail.com! Join the movement!

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You can order my CD and Book on Amazon! Get your copy today! You can also purchase music on Itunes!!

Follow Me:

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Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin: Here We Grow Again #solidfoundation

God, I am really not sure if you get holidays off, or if you take coffee breaks throughout the day, but I have been calling you and calling you, and no answer. Are you ignoring me? Is someone else’s problem taking all your attention? I mean, not to be rude here, but I think my family being on the streets is kinda important. We talked to the mortgage company, and they told us they could help us get a lower rate for our mortgage. They had asked for bank statements, and all of our financial records to see what they can do. They sent over one document after another, after another, after another. We filled it out, but then they would send it back saying we didn’t do it correctly. They sent this paper back about 10 times, and now we are one day away from our home being auctioned. The lady said, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, I don’t know why you guys aren’t getting these documents done correctly, but we have been at this for days, and there is nothing else I can do for you. I can’t keep wasting my time trying to show you how to do the forms properly. I would consider other options as far as your living arrangements are concerned. As tears rolled down my face,  I heard a knock at the door. My husband answers, and there is a Spanish man standing there. My husband says, yes sir, can I help you? Hola, how are you amigo? I am thinking about purchasing this home tomorrow, and was wondering if you guys would be interested in being renters? That way you can stay in your home, and I can just get rent from you. My husband said sir, this is not the time, and closed the door. I looked at my husband, and I said we are going to FIGHT! The enemy tried it! He has some nerve bringing this man to our house to try and shake our faith even the more!

I told my husband, it is time to go back to my roots of what my mama and daddy used to do when they were in situations. They would decree and declare what God said! This is our home! Honey, go get the oil! I grabbed my son, and my husband, and we began walking around our house like we were walking around the walls of Jericho! We began to throw oil all on the walls, and speak that no weapon formed against us shall prosper! We have the victory! I began to worship and I fell to my knees, and I just cried! A few minutes later, the mortgage company called. The lady we had been working with ended up helping us complete the paperwork. She said, I just sent it over to my boss, but she has left for the day. Your house is scheduled to be auctioned tomorrow at 9:30 AM, and my boss comes in at 8:00 AM. She said, my boss has to sign off on the form, and then fax it over to the correct department before 9:30 AM. The issue is that she has so many papers ahead of yours, so I am not sure if she will get to it in time. The lady on the phone said, keep your faith guys, it is going to be okay! God, I don’t know what you are doing, but all I can say is, here we grow again!

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I am not sure if you heard about the story of the 3 little pigs. If you didn’t, let me remind you! They tried to build a house, and one piggy built his house out of straw, another built his house out of wood, but that real smart pig, he built his house out of brick! So when the big bad wolf tried to come and tear down what they worked so hard to build, it was easy for him to come and blow down the homes with the weak foundation. The house that was built with bricks, the winds could blow, the big bad wolf could come and huff and puff all he wanted to, but he could not tear that pigs house down. See, I am thankful that our faith was solid. Even when the winds and the storms came, we stood!

Our house was scheduled to be auctioned off at 9:30 AM the following day, but after we prayed and prayed all night, and just said your will be done God, we trust you! We chose to stand on our solid rock which is Christ Jesus. Well around 9:25 AM, we received a call that we got approved for a new loan, and our payments would be lowered, and the auction was dismissed, denied, poof, gone! I sat in the chair for about 5 minutes speechless. What a MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE! Matthew 7:24-27 (read it, I am going to paraphrase)

Jesus was like, if you hear my words and obey me, you will be like the wise man who built his house on a rock. That house could never be torn down!! It could never be moved! But if you hear the words of Jesus, and yet still go your own way, and don’t do what He says, then we are like the foolish person who builds his house on sand. When the storms of life come,  are you going to fall flat like the house made with sand, or can you stand strong like the brick house? When you feel all hope is lost, can you still stand strong on God’s word? When you feel hopeless, can you still stand on the solid rock? Can you believe even when you can’t see? Don’t allow life to shake you, or break you! You can STAND! I don’t know about you, but you can call me a BRICK HOUSE! #solidfoundation

Until Next week loves! Stand Strong!!

Hey, it is me, Nikki B!!!

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Hey everybody! Since we are talking about foundation, I wanted to share with you guys, one of my favorite brands. I know we may have some Mac lovers in the building, or some Sephora saints, but Sis. Maybelline, she is my best friend. She understands what it is like being a college student, and wanting to still keep that face beat, but also wanting the beat to be cheap, ok!! You can purchase this foundation from any drug store for only $5-$7! This foundation lasts all day, and it is good for oily skin. If you have dry skin, they have a dewy finish one as well. My color is cappuccino! #savethatmoneyhoney

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For more tips and styles, follow me!!

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Purchase a copy of my book and CD on AMAZON!! You can also purchase music on Itunes

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You can email prettygirlswait@gmail.com to order a t-shirt! PRETTY means

Pure Righteous Eternally True To You

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Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin: Here We Grow Again- #devilisalie

I just had a baby, and I come home, and see a FORECLOSURE/AUCTION letter! Really God? This is what we are doing now? You are going to allow me to have a child, for us to be out on the streets? Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jones, we will be auctioning off your house on _______date. Guess what God, the date is 10 days away from today! If we don’t come up with 6 months worth of our mortgage in 10 days, our house will be auctioned! I am so irritated right now! First, I read these books on a supernatural childbirth, and believing for a vaginal delivery, just to be told after 24 hours of labor, that I have to have a c section. So now I have to sleep in the living room for a while, until my stitches heal, because I cannot walk up and down the steps. Then, as we are on our way home from the hospital, I am thanking you for a home to bring my son to, and now that is about to be auctioned! I asked my husband, what happened to the company we hired to help us refinance our mortgage? Well, guess what God? My husband called them, and they said they had no idea our home was going to be foreclosed or auctioned, and told us the letter is fake.*I lift the letter to heaven,* does this look fake to you though? Seriously? I cannot emotionally handle this right now! We had to come up with money to pay these people to help us refinance, and they have done NOTHING! My husband called the mortgage company, and they said the letter was real, and that they told the company we hired to have us call them, but they never gave us the message. The company we hired told us that we didn’t have to pay our mortgage until our refinance process was complete, so we didn’t pay for 6 months. The mortgage company told us that was not true! This is a complete mess, and I feel so weak. Life should not have to be this hard! Being a believer should not be depressing! Being a believer should not be so complicated! I am starting to feel overwhelmed, and I am TIRED! I am tired spiritually and physically!

I am still trying to hold on to all the prophetic words that have been given to us. You guys are going to have millions..(maybe the millions they saw was in debt.) Oh what about the prophecy that this is gonna be the best year of yall’s life (LIES THEY TELL!!) I mean the best thing that happened to me was having my son, and yeah that is about it. What about the word that me and my husband would be in ministry together? (maybe they missed the word, because we are in misery together right about now) You know I feel like that single girl again who was always the bridesmaid, and never the bride for so long. Seemed like everyone who wasn’t  committed to the wait until marriage, or committed to You God seemed to get a commitment before me.  Now I feel like I am the “good girl” who is experiencing a “bad life”. What is all this for? I know people who aren’t in the faith are laughing at me saying, that poor girl. Do you want a loan? I am supposed to be the lender and not the borrower! I am tired of being tired. I know,  I know, I know that you are doing something in me, and it’s not comfortable, so I guess all I can say is, here we grow again!

Have you ever had that moment when you said FORGET THIS? Have you every said, you know what God, I am out? You know what, this God stuff ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be! I am tired of waiting! I am tired of doing good, and getting bad in return! I might as well go out there and do me! *Yes, my name is Nikea Marie, and I was that person. I was so ready to just go out and be a sinner for a good 2 months, and then ask God to forgive me when I felt like coming back.* Have you ever just got tired of doing right, and feeling like it is for nothing? God said to me, why do right if it is just to get something? You should do right because you love me. What was my motive in being a believer? Was I just serving God to get? Was I a God digger? You know those people who only call God when they want something. Using Him for his resources. What happened to the times when I would just wake up and worship God? Didn’t ask for anything, but just appreciating who He was to me. What happened to her? Life happened! Listening to the enemy happened. What God was using to strengthen me, the enemy was using to weaken me. God was strengthening my faith. God was using this as an opportunity to show Himself mighty in my life! God was using this as a glory demonstrator. How can you tell someone God healed me, but you were never sick? How can you tell someone that God was your financial source for 10 months, if you never needed him to provide for you? The enemy was using it as an opportunity to destroy me. Make me weak in my walk with God, and make me doubt all that I know to be true about who God is. I know God loves me, but when trials came, the enemy told me God didn’t love me. What kind of God would make you go through this or that. Now I can say, a God who wants you to grow up! A God that wants to see you mature in your faith. The enemy’s job is to steal, kill, and destroy. He wants  you to be so spiritually tired, that you become soulfully awake. OOOH that was a good word right there! Let me preach real quick…

When did the devil come at Jesus, and try to tempt him? If you could open your Bibles to the book of Luke 4:2 (New Living Translation) it says, He was tempted by the devil for 40 days. Jesus ate nothing all that time, and became very hungry. Now, I don’t know about you, but if I don’t eat after 40 minutes, a sister is ready to pop off! Imagine 40 days!! I would be cranky, irritated, hangry, (hungry and angry) and then some. I can imagine the devil being like, oh yeah, I got him. He’s too tired to fight now, I got Him right where I want him. HAH! Jesus was kicking  the scriptures to the enemy! IT IS WRITTEN…IT IS WRITTEN.. We be saying, in the words of Beyonce, BOY BYE! We don’t know any word though, and we wonder why it’s hard to fight the enemy; but that was not where I was going with my message. Jesus may have been physically tired, but spiritually, HE was stronger than ever. Side bar, did you ever hear Jesus say, God how come you didn’t crucify Peter? How come he gets to just be a disciple? God, how come you ain’t let me marry the chick with the Alabaster box? How come you let Moses have a wife, and not me? Why is it that I have to die though? Nobody’s story in the Bible was the same. God had a specific GPS plan for each person, just like he has a specific plan for you, so stop with comparisonitis. It is this disease where you are always comparing your life to everyone else’s! STOP IT! I just got free from that disease, and I thank God! What God has for you, it is for you. He knows when it will come, how it will come, and you just have to trust it! See, ya’ll keep taking me on detours with my message. As I was saying, it’s always when you get to that point of wanting to quit where the enemy comes in so slick. You are single, and you be like, Jesus is all I need, until you are still single 5 years later. Now, you are getting weak spiritually, because God is taking too long. I got needs Jesus! Ain’t nobody waiting no more, and BAM here comes the enemy saying, isn’t He a God of grace? He will forgive you!

We are supposed to say, IT IS WRTTEN IN ROMANS 6:1-2 (NEW LIVING) WELL THEN, SHOULD WE KEEP ON SINNING SO THAT GOD CAN SHOW US MORE AND MORE OF HIS GRACE? OF COURSE NOT! SINCE WE HAVE DIED TO SIN, HOW CAN WE CONTINUE TO LIVE IN IT? Or are we saying, I mean, He will understand! He knows a sista got needs! God does not want our lives to be difficult, but He never said we wouldn’t have trials and opposition. He said that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. 2 Cor 4:17- For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.

2733 When I had my son, that temporary pain meant nothing once I saw his little handsome face come up, and cry, and I held him in my arms. All that I went through to bring him here was worth it. Sometimes the pain is necessary to produce the promises of God. We also see this with Jesus! He said not my will, but your will be done Father. He knew His present trouble of being beaten, spit on, and whipped was small compared to the glory of seeing our souls saved. The pain was necessary to produce the promise. I was becoming spiritually exhausted because all of my spirit fuel was on E. I had no desire to put any more gas in my spirit because at this moment, I felt like that car wasn’t working for me. Lets gas up the soul. Let’s put the spirit in the garage! Church, just because you get a flat, does not mean you stop driving that car. The same God who blessed you with that car, is the same God who will take care of you when the tire gets flat. But sometimes it takes the tire being flat, so God can show you that He is your air! Oh, I am preaching on today, but I am getting ready to close church, (hah), but the point of my message is, (hah) be God’s ride or die (hah) Ya’ll don’t hear me! Ride with Him, until the end (hah) Don’t let that devil, (hah) talk you out of destiny! (hah) Don’t let that devil (hah) discourage you (hah). Tell your neighbor (hah) In the words of my brother from another mother, (hah) Travis Green (hah) All things are working for your good! Slap your neighbor and say He’s intentional (hah) Never failing! He won’t fail! He can’t fail! He won’t let you down! Somebody say YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  The doors of the church are open! Is there one? LOL!!

In all seriousness, God uses even the bad to work together for our good! I will tell you more of what happened with our home next week, but just know we are still in our house, and God showed up yet again!! I am telling you He ain’t nothing but the truth, and the devil ain’t nothing but a lie. #thedevilisalie

I wrote a song called “The Devil Is a Lie” inspired by Adele’s song, “Hello”. Check it out!

 

   WHO IS THAT GIRL? OH IT IS STILL ME, NIKKI B! 

 

Styling and profiling on em! I know we all like to rock a different look every now and then, so if you don’t want to spend all your coins on a full weave, girl just get you a full wig. They make wigs so versatile now! You can leave some of your hair out in the front, and rock that hair like it is yours honey! YASSSSS! You can get a wig for $25 at your local beauty supply store. Now, if you are not a professional wig wearer, don’t try and wear this in the wind. If it is windy out there, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, put on your wig. They won’t be singing the wind beneath my wings, but the wind blew off my wig! Don’t go telling people that Nikki told me to wear this wig, no Nikki didn’t. Read it again! DO NOT WEAR THE WIG IN THE WIND!! Now, if you are a professional wig wearer, and you know how to pin that baby down, and tighten them straps, then all means go for it! You don’t have to spend a million bucks, to look like a million bucks! Ain’t nothing wrong with switching it up on em every now and then, but please make sure you wear your bobby pins! I love you, that is why I am here to help you! For more tips on hair, makeup, and styles, follow me!

Facebook: Nikki Brown            Instagram:@nikki_nikkay

This weekend!!!! It is going to be LIT! I hope that you have made plans to attend our Empowerment Brunch! This is an event you DO NOT want to miss! Invite your friends, and let’s have a great time of fellowship! Only $20!

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If you are interested in purchasing our PRETTY (Pure Righteous Eternally True To You) Girls Wait T-Shirt, please email prettygirlswait@gmail.com

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Diary Of A Mad Black Virgin: Here We Grow Again

Hey Jesus! You see this picture? I had to take it outside to make sure that you can see that I am 9 MONTHS PREGNANT AND MY HUSBAND STILL HAS NOT GOTTEN A JOB!!! Hello, can you hear me NOW? Can you see me now? I mean is he on permanent maternity leave? Them unemployment checks are about to stop rolling in, and what are we supposed to do? I can’t travel and sing like I used to because I have this big basketball in front of me. Speaking of basketball, my husband sure does enjoy doing that. I guess he feels like he is putting some kind of work in on the court. (no shade) I know you see these stack of bills piling up on the kitchen table!

We already had to get on assistance for health insurance, thank goodness you did do that, and I am not complaining, I am just saying..I know you have never been pregnant before, but I am about to give birth to another bill. You know babies need diapers, wipes, milk, a car seat, crib, swing, and so much more stuff.  Jesus, before you come with the trust me speech, I have been trusting you. I have been reading the Supernatural Childbirth books, and believing for an amazing delivery. I have been getting up every morning to thank you for another day, even though I am irritated. I have been speaking by faith that we shall have all that we need. Real talk, I am tired of always having to tell people, I am YET AGAIN, trusting in the Lord. When is it going to ever be a season of consecutive wins? I do appreciate the fact that you allowed us to even be pregnant, but the saints told me that with a baby comes increase.

Image result for picture of the person doing the look on shirley ceasars greens beansI have been looking for the increase, and I ain’t seen nothing! I remember people giving testimonies at church about how their husbands received raises as soon as the 2 lines showed up on their pregnancy tests. My husbands boss just raised his hands and told him the contract didn’t go through and he was sorry. Increase huh? I mean, for some reason, I just knew me being a virgin before I got married was going to give me some good credit. I should be able to pull out whatever I need from heaven’s bank account. What about the fact that I have not drank or cussed in a while, does that increase your credit in heaven? How about the fact that I am a worshiper, and that I chose to sing Gospel music? Does that help increase my credit to get a heavenly financial loan? You keep saying trust me, and I know the word.. *clears throat* Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. Maybe if I lean to the left, I can understand a little better. You seem to enjoy taking me on the Jesus coaster. Just when I think I know the ride,  you change up on me. Where they do that at? I know that you take us from faith to faith to faith, and from glory to glory to glory..sooooooo I guess all I can say is, HERE WE GROW AGAIN!

Ladies and Gentleman, I am back! This season of my life was probably the worse ever. I struggled with even wanting to share all the things we went through, but I know it will bless someone else. When I tell you God stripped us, BABY, He had us out there BUTT NAKED with no stores or clothing in sight. He had us on the water with no paddle, no boat, no phone, no lifeline, I mean, NOTHING! All we had was HIM! And that is exactly where He wanted us. We had to come to the end of ourselves. We were done being in high school, now it was time to grow for college. My favorite song to sing is “For your glory, I will do anything”. God said, really? I said yes God, absolutely! He said, anything? I said yes God, I will do anything! He said wow, that’s what I am talking about. You are my girl! Then things started happening, and I was like yo God, hey, what is going on?

Will you be able to have nothing, so that people can see that I am your everything? It’s For My Glory! Can you trust me, even when I am silent? It’s For My Glory! Can you believe even when you can’t see? It’s For My Glory! Now wait a minute, hold up partna..(yes I meant to spell it that way) you ain’t say all that in the beginning! We go to church and say MORE OF YOU GOD, LESS OF ME! I WANT MORE GOD! We received increase, but it was Spiritual increase. God was breaking us down, to build us up. We have experienced God in a way that we have never experienced Him before. He showed us that He is our source. He showed us that He is who He says He is! He showed us that He is a good good Father! He showed us that He is faithful!  I am going to take you on our journey. Hold on tight, it’s going to get real, but the worse season of our lives, turned into the best days of our lives. Sometimes it hurts to grow, but it’s necessary! #growingpains #collegebound

Romans 5:3-5 (NLT) We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.

Until next week love bugs!!!

 

MEET NIKKI BROWN: fullsizerender-10

Nikki Brown is all about saving that coin while being faithfully fabulous! She will be giving us ladies beauty and fashion tips every week! This week her theme is: 

                                                   Looking Like A Boss On A Budget

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Jacket-$10 from the local thrift store. Ladies, don’t be afraid to mix and match pieces. You can get pieces from the mall, and mix them with pieces from the thrift store. There ain’t nothing wrong with a little thrift shopping. I saved money by cutting, and bleaching the jacket myself. Can we say cha-ching?

Dress-$10 from Ross. Let me tell you about Sis. Ross. This store has amazing clothes for reasonable prices! Check them out!

Glasses-Nikki B Jewels (my mom sells jewelry, and accessories) Can we thank God for parents with vision! *wink* My mother had a vision to sell jewelry, and accessories, and her vision helped my vision. Can we say, hallelujah? You can check her out on social media @nikkibjewels for affordable jewelry and accessories!

Shoes-$15 H&M Can we thank God for sales? The secret is, when a season is ending, check out the sales rack and rack up. Get your boots at the end of winter for the following winter. Check and see                                                    any stores going out of business, and you will be in business.

Make sure you follow me on Facebook @ Nikki Brown and Instagram @nikki_nikkay

Stay Faithfully Fabulous!!!

 

All my single ladies!! If you live in DC, MD, or VA, make plans to be at our empowerment brunch, Saturday, February 4, 2017!! I am telling you, this is an event you DO NOT want to miss! Let’s empower! Let’s connect! Let’s inspire! Let’s unite! Let’s laugh! Let’s cry! Let’s eat! Let’s pray! Let’s have an amazing time together! Invite a friend or 2! Only $20! Cash payments will be received at the door! Be there!

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NIKEA MARIE PURPOSE AND MISSION                              Check out my music on ITunes, Amazon, CDbaby, and More!!

Keys To Success Book

Make sure you get my book on AMAZON! It will bless your life. I have an organization called P.R.E.T.T.Y (Pure Righteous Eternally True To You) Girls Wait. We empower girls (13-17) and women (18 and up) to know they are worth waiting for. We would love to have you be apart! Email prettygirlswait@gmail.com for more info. and to join our mailing list!

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You can order a shirt as well by emailing prettygirlswait@gmail.com

 

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Diary Of MBV, Life After Sex “Spiritually Stuck”

During our marriage, we had a lot of things happen, and it made me spiritually frustrated. I knew that God was elevating us, but it was not comfortable. My husband, he was on a spiritual high, and I was spiritually low. My husband would wake up every morning, and he would play worship music, and pray, and thank God for our breakthrough, and I would sit in the bed like YES Lord..Do it Lord..Go ahead God..Show up..but I wasn’t believing anything I was saying. In my mind it was just another routine. It is hard being in a place where you don’t know what is next. We had prayed and asked God for increase, and as soon as we did, my husband had a meeting with his boss, and lost his job. When we asked God for more, it seemed like we received less. Yes, I know what you’re thinking..All things work together for the good..You just have to keep the faith..But what do you do when your faith is on E? You are running full of faith, but then when life hits you, and things don’t happen the way we expect them to, it can cause your faith to fade. The first time my husband lost his job, he received a job 2 weeks later. (yessss faith) The second time he lost his job, it was 2 months later, and he received another job. (go faith, it’s your birthday) BUT  this time, it has been almost a year! My faith tank went from Full to Empty! When my faith ran out of gas, I just stayed on the side of the road. I didn’t ask for help, and I didn’t even feel like driving anymore. I wasn’t going to church..Didn’t want to pray..Wasn’t in the mood to praise God at all. I just sat on the side of the road, and watched all the cars drive by me. My husband was trying to push my faith car, but I told him to just go on without me. He would be in the room just going in. He would cry out to God, pray, fast, and just walk around full of joy, and I would be downstairs watching tv waiting for him to finish. He began to even make me irritated. I kept telling him, you are doing all this praying, and no results. He said, you may not see it, but it is going to come to pass. Who are you? He would ask me! I would say, I am tired! I am over it! I have done this God thing for a long time, and I am just spiritually stuck right now, and some parts of me became comfortable in that place. God has shown up so many times before, but this time, He was taking his sweet time! I know we go from glory to glory, and each stage of our faith walk will require something different in us, but I was just over it! Yes, my name is Nikea Marie, and once again, I was not prepared for life after sex!

Have you ever had those moments where you have felt spiritually stuck? You know God is real, and you know He is faithful, but you are just a little spiritually irritated. It seems like you get through one thing, and then here comes something else, or my all time favorite, when God doesn’t say anything at all, and He makes you wait!! You ever been in that place where you have been believing God for so many things, and you have seen Him do great things in your life, but it is always that one BIG thing that you have to wait on that makes us forget all the other things He has done. You received a promotion, you got your house that you wanted, God has healed you, delivered you, and set you free, but that man still hasn’t come yet. Because of that, you start to question where are you God? Reminds me of the children of Israel! That was me! God brought me out of the wilderness, killed my enemies, parted the red sea, performed many miracles, sent food from heaven, but I am not in my Promise Land, and I am irritated! How much longer do I have to walk before I get to my purpose? How many more steps do I have to take before I get what I really want? I might as well stayed in the world for all this! Did He save me to punish me? Did He bring me out here to tease me? What is up with this God? One thing I learned with God is that I can be honest with him. I began to read scriptures that dealt with my situation:

Psalms 6:4-10 (MSG Bible) Break in God, and break up this fight; if you love me at all, get me out of here. I’m no good to you dead am I? I can’t sing in your choir if I am buried in some tomb! I am tired of all this-so tired. My bed has been floating forty days and nights on the flood of my tears. My mattress is soaked, soggy with tears. The sockets of my eyes are black holes, nearly blind, I squint and grope. (this is when David remembered that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but principalities) Get out of here, you devil’s crew: at last God has heard my sobs. My requests have all been granted, my prayers are answered. Cowards, my enemies disappear. Disgraced, they turn tail and run. 

Even David in the Bible felt spiritually stuck, but he was honest with God! He cried out to God, and told God his truth. God heard him, and his requests were granted. Have you ever just had a good cry? Just crying your heart out to God in those stuck moments? Psalms 58:8 “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book. In this Psalm, David expressed grief over his situation, which was dangerous. Saul wanted his son to be king, and wanted David to be killed. This forced David to be on the move a lot, as he tried to escape. David was grieved, fearful, and unsure about his future, and tears began to flow as He poured out his heart to God. David was comforted knowing that no matter what he was going through, God had great compassion on him, and gathered all his tears in a bottle. David trusted God with his life, but that didn’t mean he didn’t cry out to Him in moments of feeling stuck or unsure.

I believe that strength comes through weakness. Sometimes we have to cry it out, and remind God of His word! Sometimes we have to speak what we believe until it becomes reality. You have to know that the enemy’s job is to keep you stuck. His job is to make you react off your feelings, and not your faith. His job is to keep you on the side of the road, with your faith tank on E. Once I got myself together, God showed Himself so strong in my life, and revealed things to me about me, even in my stuck stage. He was doing something new in me, and was using that time to do it. He needed to prepare me for the promise, and now I thank God that I am walking in it!

I will say to you today, call the tow company (heaven) and ask for a spiritual lift! Get in your word, and get filled up! Get to a church, and get filled up! Put on some worship music and fill your tank up! Cry out to God, and let Him refill you! You can come out of this, and you can endure! You win!! Your promise land is just a few more steps away! JUST KEEP walking it out! God is faithful, and He will fulfill every promise to you! Don’t give up on God, because He won’t give up on you, HE IS ABLE!

Marriage is hard work, but it is a job I wouldn’t trade for anything!

Stay blessed loves!

Have you registered for our conference? It is going to be off the chain! This conference is for the entire family! Mothers, daughters, singles, engaged, fathers, men, it is going to be life changing! http://www.prettygirlswait2016.eventbrite.com for more information!

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Check out my music on Itunes: Purpose and Mission/Nikea Marie

NIKEA MARIE PURPOSE AND MISSION

My book is available on Amazon!! Check it out!

Keys To Success Book

 

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